feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

My steiors now. Lfet eeyrgivnth adn iedt ,it matemoulnn asw hpoufle evne dnanepl i heom taht to but ot tefl lveae — as i ok. Me leki asw reufut up no isnwg ym onniegp snomtgeih eefobr. .
.
Ftureu awya nodw onwk dna cna ouy our ycarz tha?w iwdpe levis a,aign cna eiseomsmt be tbu hwo hte ti’s seloc. I otruhhg ptyret goa liedv htt,a teh was twnrtie etn atth wlle sah skown ltetre ihts efeorb 2200 hwo aoubt elarend oelssn but six hmsnot neoyna lwle, esayr artef. Arecnc i adn herrbot — was whit aeddonsgi my.
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Ot reteh uhgneo ,sya ahts’t omtals ihtgr. Nad nkitga evner i a i ni eexiepre,nc hmi hnte hte faert off to dsinehif lphe end hitw otg neve tlpcaiy hgutoh logcele the emoch be hiwt wef euyevltlan ayres. Ainntdgte hnterao to weihl e,gleclo dlot if or i ,yutocrn aekm fels eb in phpya go htta eenvr ’di -t-ayegnaroe lolgcee mmsieore, glecloe ym be yatlicp ot evne ogt dtaeatedsv or i. Ownk ooahrpums lsos rrbhote olss si gnohnti ym rmedcaop teh thta to lpoeeel-cogh some i wno tub eht of of.
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Cymltpeelo at eefl mmessioet bcak fetdrfine 81 fels mfor hre ldo kolo my eyar i and rnspoe a i eilk. A etmi nhet her tbu fo eheowsmre eminagi etuidso lallaepr i in eiusr,evn esxngiti. Ilfe nad initgst ni sthi to outba rldw,o get nda theer tteler twingri ssh’e tainwng ehr yawa that trtas. Esh’s agtnkil awlsk dna ngogi eifrnsd dna folro nrnadgeiw tgstiin aubot tar, nwod hten ucsim usjt nda nda rof erh’yte adn nda ’hbresort onw itno om,or dan hte rhe sioceko hlnuiagg egoehrtt mniagk dan no. In ilwl tahw temi aehv noe teh to reotthge ot asrdme meor etn neno thgir eyht to won, auotb no ot yda ers,ay fo eht ot ’ryhtee eb nad oubat wtan elki ehmt masrtte lhod sil,htg owh idcanel hte yad tath liwl gtlknai one ohret it go lfei hnnteorr eon iltnakg innepdsg atnh noly lliw fo eismeomr nda rlagneiiz not ttha geno oklo ees. Ym nrdife etsb he wsa.

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