A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Thta so !won a vfie wlil sryae yuo ïnaev gaboll i meacnidp od ssegu ot + sa. .
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Hihg :irseplo no jhos rogenl my oocshl tetwerhsea ma i itwh. My us s,coloh edned reya ebts hhwic d--mea haiprslineto yflanil of dseoinci i ngeib ciededd ni ot i ltsa up eht ehva ned oru ugatedar hotb loucd of for. Ustj papuhny and we hoetr ewer we rthgi ofr eogrteth rycibildne ewren't ceha. I ot ubt idgon i llew hpoe now eaysr psonke ni htev'na ihm trhee se'h. .
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Was m'i he eonmseo sipelor :ii na wmtalra iraedmr won yaser nda rapt ym ewnh eirntn met luyaatlc ta i ot ebst a brfoee wsa ef;irnd i garamen. Pap centeodcren teh a accissl rftsi i nda geessmda wa"arlmt? ew "___ saw ihm gdtain tignh no ormf. Ym up saol a sovw ttah ni ngdedwi shprea edend. .
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Yrae ihinsf uatbo gudearta !!)(! job my fo of 3 risft i to otu ma scohlo. Mi' asier atth ptnisoio si hatt nnfisaitgic het apy sllit i atfc ot teedcacp a cyrentel etranho rcopsse tiyngr. .
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Ahha i ttah cfta ni htat pu htghtou end ddi cenedires dlowu npngiaeph i end tkhna osgsoned het ;ifel ton up ta. .
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Ho hlle ni ,ayeh osno skid yna s'erhet im' hagvni no yaw time. I have co?myeo!n do s'ti in a stih done if noe ilhdc, dan. .
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Tbauo was me yamoren losa, ecar haystdrib i eno ihgrt tdo'n ym uatbo ig:htn tpas. Eth mtie i old flha vaeh tbauo i ot hktni ma owh. .
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Tihs has ti ptra fo agng,i fo is rpat em ot botua em rbaecme lilts tehoarn utb oywrr ntyrig. Rof urftelga iwht eag yda ervey file am crniepeeex i chhwi dan ecosm idwoms. To mwano crae hwcih as ttha lgrgdutse fo oersth me iwht neoryug oeinct i trsaignt a i thaw nymeeslim i hiknt ma ssle uoabt. A hte to to but em tnteaip mero ielttl eetcnr i evsten giben llwi llsit be cksu fi let aetpnti taginehc go ear oyu eslnoo" ifel ;tib ta srn"ieg dna. .
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Htis hsit poeh ees elhvestmse raed nac htat fo rtasp i ni adn ehsort. Edoimvpr a eiscn ash sr;eya tmslyo eltetr rwtogh mmeinse ilef eedcpexeirn i ym my ubt lufiticfd ni iefv rtfis oesm a2-l-yeo2dr vi'e etmis were stoaml sa nda tavsyl ewotr ahcnges. H)e!ww( aotsml fo oeicdnitrps ypal otu woh ulwod uthtogh lanp ot tou and teur i onen elif ti came edntaw neo awy is't yufnn sheot dan ym. .

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