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Dukkar,
You did what you always had to do, keeping me in the dark and feeding me false hopes, all while you knew the truth all along. I wasn’t blind, but I chose to believe in the good in people, in you, and now I see that belief was misplaced. The pain you caused was not an accident, nor was it an unintended consequence. It was a choice you made, a deliberate decision to use me as a stepping stone for your own needs, knowing full well the damage you were inflicting. You felt no shame in misusing my vulnerable state, exploiting my trust and emotions for your convenience. I hope karma does not find its way back to you, because if it does, it will not be easy for you. But then again, I’m not like you. I’m not going to wish anything ill upon you because that’s not how I was raised. I was raised with integrity, and I will not stoop to your level. There’s a stark difference in how we were brought up, how we were taught to value and respect others, and that’s where all of this lies.
You had a choice, and you knew it. You had the chance to be honest, to show me your true self, to step up and tell me exactly what you wanted, but you didn’t. Instead, you opted for a life of guilt, never once considering the weight of your actions or the emotional wreckage you were leaving behind. And you could have avoided it all with one simple moment of courage, but you chose the path of least resistance. If you truly meant every loving moment we shared, if you had any genuine regard for me, you would have acted differently. But no, you walked away, leaving me to pick up the broken pieces. It’s a devastating truth that I now carry with me, and I will never forget it.
I’ve realized something from all of this—something I never wanted to learn but was forced to. The world is full of selfish, opportunistic people, people who don’t stop to think about the emotional devastation they leave behind. You treated me as if I were disposable, an object for your use, something to be discarded once you no longer needed it. I thought you were different, I thought you saw me, but now I know better. I can’t believe I ever trusted someone like you, and the regret I feel for every moment spent with you is a pain I’ll carry with me for a long time.
In search of a star, you lost the moon. You let go of someone who truly cared for you, someone who stood by you when you were at your worst, someone who valued you more than you ever valued yourself. You lost a genuine friend, someone who believed in you and your potential, despite everything. It wasn’t just me you lost—it was the chance to have a life built on trust, honesty, and mutual respect. You threw it away because of your ignorance and your lack of courage to stand up for yourself and for what we had. In doing so, you’ve made the biggest loss of all. I pity you, not because of what you did to me, but because you’ve proven that you’ll never understand the value of what you had.
I know it doesn’t matter to you how I feel. I know that you’ve moved on, and you’ve put me out of your mind. But for my own peace, I need you to understand the depth of how you broke me. I don’t think you ever cared to see it, but seeing you so easily smile with her, knowing what you did to me, it tears me apart. How can one person be so indifferent, so callous? How can someone who claimed to care be so stone-hearted and cruel? I may never understand, and that’s okay. But I will never forget the lessons I’ve learned from you, and I will use them to fuel my strength going forward.
Every second I spent with you now feels like a lesson, one I didn’t ask for, but one I’ve been forced to learn the hard way. And that lesson is that I was never valued the way I valued you. I spent so much time trying to make you happy, trying to show you that I cared, and in the end, I realize you never valued me. My time, my energy, my love—they were never a priority for you. You were always the priority for me, but you took it for granted. Your words meant nothing. You proved that to me. But in doing so, you’ve taught me something incredibly valuable: I now know my worth, and it’s far more than you ever realized.
I will never forgive you. I won’t forgive the pain you caused, the lies you told, or the hurt you left behind. But more than that, I won’t forgive myself for allowing myself to believe you, for trusting you when every sign showed me that you didn’t deserve it. I was better off before you begged me to talk to you, and now I’m left regretting every moment I spent with you.
May the girls and women in your family be protected from people like you. May they never encounter anyone misusing their vulnerable states for their own pleasure.
In search of everything, you lost someone who could have been your everything. I will find peace, and I will find strength. I will move forward, because that is the only thing I can do. And one day, I will look back at this and see how far I’ve come, knowing that I have become everything you never thought I could be.
You did what you always had to do, keeping me in the dark and feeding me false hopes, all while you knew the truth all along. I wasn’t blind, but I chose to believe in the good in people, in you, and now I see that belief was misplaced. The pain you caused was not an accident, nor was it an unintended consequence. It was a choice you made, a deliberate decision to use me as a stepping stone for your own needs, knowing full well the damage you were inflicting. You felt no shame in misusing my vulnerable state, exploiting my trust and emotions for your convenience. I hope karma does not find its way back to you, because if it does, it will not be easy for you. But then again, I’m not like you. I’m not going to wish anything ill upon you because that’s not how I was raised. I was raised with integrity, and I will not stoop to your level. There’s a stark difference in how we were brought up, how we were taught to value and respect others, and that’s where all of this lies.
You had a choice, and you knew it. You had the chance to be honest, to show me your true self, to step up and tell me exactly what you wanted, but you didn’t. Instead, you opted for a life of guilt, never once considering the weight of your actions or the emotional wreckage you were leaving behind. And you could have avoided it all with one simple moment of courage, but you chose the path of least resistance. If you truly meant every loving moment we shared, if you had any genuine regard for me, you would have acted differently. But no, you walked away, leaving me to pick up the broken pieces. It’s a devastating truth that I now carry with me, and I will never forget it.
I’ve realized something from all of this—something I never wanted to learn but was forced to. The world is full of selfish, opportunistic people, people who don’t stop to think about the emotional devastation they leave behind. You treated me as if I were disposable, an object for your use, something to be discarded once you no longer needed it. I thought you were different, I thought you saw me, but now I know better. I can’t believe I ever trusted someone like you, and the regret I feel for every moment spent with you is a pain I’ll carry with me for a long time.
In search of a star, you lost the moon. You let go of someone who truly cared for you, someone who stood by you when you were at your worst, someone who valued you more than you ever valued yourself. You lost a genuine friend, someone who believed in you and your potential, despite everything. It wasn’t just me you lost—it was the chance to have a life built on trust, honesty, and mutual respect. You threw it away because of your ignorance and your lack of courage to stand up for yourself and for what we had. In doing so, you’ve made the biggest loss of all. I pity you, not because of what you did to me, but because you’ve proven that you’ll never understand the value of what you had.
I know it doesn’t matter to you how I feel. I know that you’ve moved on, and you’ve put me out of your mind. But for my own peace, I need you to understand the depth of how you broke me. I don’t think you ever cared to see it, but seeing you so easily smile with her, knowing what you did to me, it tears me apart. How can one person be so indifferent, so callous? How can someone who claimed to care be so stone-hearted and cruel? I may never understand, and that’s okay. But I will never forget the lessons I’ve learned from you, and I will use them to fuel my strength going forward.
Every second I spent with you now feels like a lesson, one I didn’t ask for, but one I’ve been forced to learn the hard way. And that lesson is that I was never valued the way I valued you. I spent so much time trying to make you happy, trying to show you that I cared, and in the end, I realize you never valued me. My time, my energy, my love—they were never a priority for you. You were always the priority for me, but you took it for granted. Your words meant nothing. You proved that to me. But in doing so, you’ve taught me something incredibly valuable: I now know my worth, and it’s far more than you ever realized.
I will never forgive you. I won’t forgive the pain you caused, the lies you told, or the hurt you left behind. But more than that, I won’t forgive myself for allowing myself to believe you, for trusting you when every sign showed me that you didn’t deserve it. I was better off before you begged me to talk to you, and now I’m left regretting every moment I spent with you.
May the girls and women in your family be protected from people like you. May they never encounter anyone misusing their vulnerable states for their own pleasure.
In search of everything, you lost someone who could have been your everything. I will find peace, and I will find strength. I will move forward, because that is the only thing I can do. And one day, I will look back at this and see how far I’ve come, knowing that I have become everything you never thought I could be.
Epilogue
9 months laterhttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/PbtUOrRTxV8
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9 months ago