Brandon, it's been a long time. Greetings from another life

Dear Superior self, This is the realest thing I can imagine ever typing. A whole year... from this exact moment that I am sitting in right now. Everyone, around the world is doing their own thing right now, and by the time you write this and forget it and remember it again, things will surely be drastically different. I hope this message gets to you, and not lost into the abyss of the Internet like the first time I tried sending one of these. Man, where do I begin? Well, firstly - I'm dumb as hell for not taking college as serious as I should have from the start. It was foolish to let myself slip. As of this moment, I am having a constant, 24/7 panic attack about what I'm going to do with my,,, OUR life. I'm sorry I caused you so much grief back here in 2014. I probably messed up some opportunities that could have been useful for the future. I just hope you are as much smarter than me now as I think you will be... I'm considering taking you into the Army, maybe? How did that go? Was that a smart decision? It is risky... with times of war, and such. Hopefully the educational benefits are as they seem to be. If that was the route I took, I hope you learned a lot! If not the route, then I hope I made the right decision for us. Man, I'm just so excited to see how far along we have come on our Novel, those old game ideas saved in google docs, the PS4 game progressions, any new games. There is just so much about you I wish I knew today... things I could know to help me now, but maybe it's for the best. Because then maybe I wouldn't have made the decisions I did that led you to where you are? I'm very lonely, this was a... strange period of transition unlike anything quite seen like it before. And trust me, I'm still you - I know what we have been through. This is a WEIRD time. Friends are scarce, and low quality at that. A couple love interests, but nothing really worth it. Remember Gabby? She is kind've a huge part of your life right now. Although we have connected a lot, I still feel like it's not quite right though. I'm not sure if I should really pursue her or not. Then of course the little crushes like Samm T., but she is out of state and I don't really know that much about her. Josh, RJ and David are the best people you hang with nowadays, but I surely hope you find some new friends soon man, you need to seriously branch out again. Oh and if your girlfriend is sitting there, HELLO STRANGE WOMAN I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YET! I HOPE YOU ARE AWESOME (proceed to kiss her now, you dope). Lately, life has just been so much. Between failing school, failing my dumb *** car wash job, and the tension on all sides of your family relationships... I've been pretty much on my own. These are dark days for me right now... Sometimes I contemplate seeing the next day........ but then I remember, YOU. you must live on. It is my job to protect you, to shape you, to carry you. If you are a dumb ***, then i have failed. And I know by then I will have been erased, but I still care. I can't explain it, knowing I will be gone even, I still care as much as I ever could. I spend these hollow nights all alone, wishing I had somebody or something to push me to carry on. I have to be stronger than I ever have to push through this. I have nobody to connect with on a level deeper than some sticker book smile and a reserved personality just to guide my way so I can pretend to have the friends I always wanted. I wish bad things weren't prone to me... Did you ever get rid of that curse? I dont know if its a curse but man we had some bad blood going through us, it seems like for the last 3 months I have just been susceptible to Murphy's law or something. It will not give me a break at all. In this world, the Colbert Report is just coming to an end next week, I am trying to 100% GTA 5, I'm trying to build your minecraft superstructure, write your novel (Blacklist Alpha?), meet a beautiful girl I share a connection with that I don't have to fake, (yes, kiss again ;) ), meet some new friends, do some physical maintenance to myself... if you know what I mean.. you should remember., get your life on track, get a better job.... and so on. Brandon, in case something goes terribly wrong in the next year, you have to remember that your mind is an outsider. You can think in ominous feats that few people can achieve, and for them to take a glimpse into the thought process of you is like trying to dissect a molecule. You are one of the most beautiful authors, pretty much writer in general. You can rap like a ******* LEGEND, your poetic skills are among the greatest, your science fiction capabilities are to DIE for, and you know several ways to word them to make them sound juicy and roll off the tongue perfectly, and you have just that natural ability to flow in writing, where you could create an entire style by barely thinking about it in mid sentence. You have talents. You are charismatic when you want to be, with a hot spice of comedy. You know when to shut the hell up in the company of those that warrant it. You are very intelligent, even if you do have some sort of learning curve, it is not a disability, its just a less effective way of understanding, but once you understand it, man you soar above everyone with brain speed... you are so strange dude. the strangest dude I even know.... I hope you still enjoy deep things. The deepest crevices of the human psych, heartfelt films that touch base on the soulful enigmas, that Aurora feeling... The web that intertwines within our universe of spacial uncertainty... Deep movies, songs, feelings... It is OKAY to be an emotional person. You have been since you were a kid. You will always be. But that is okay, it is better than being callus and neutral to depth, and living your life missing a significant piece of what you should even live on for. Write something.... Do it tomorrow. Anything, make it deep, make it touch yours or someone elses heart. Show yourself that you are truly.... Superior to me. In every way possible. I need you to learn, to beat me, to be the best. Every single time. Someone out there, they are going to love you for all of eternity. They will remind you what love is. They will end the memory of that retched girl that broke you to pieces... (Yes, i still think about her so much sometimes... maybe you can forgive yourself, where I... am still locked in this heart shaped prison... dwelling, being held back.. still paying the cost). Some girl will have the same dumb flaws, and have the most amazing similiarities. She will be.. So **** perfect... Girl, if you ever read this, I know I dont know you yet, but I LOVE YOU!!!! <3 I can only imagine what your beautiful face looks like. You better treat him right, okay? He is very special xD. From one world... to a world totally different that I know nothing about, I bid you adeu. It was amazing letting you into my realm, letting you relive something that I dont even know is coming yet. And the very instant the last letter rolls of your mind... this window into my life will have ended and you can NEVER go back... so savor it. savor every moment I allow you here to dream and feel and pulsate in this little world you left long ago.... Not gone yet, But soon... Goodbye, my friend. I hope that we have fused into something beautiful <3 Sincerely, a brandon that no longer exists, but will always live inside of you as one of your sagas of life. And in that way, I kind of live on forever.... AND TELL YOUR MOM HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!